What is the matter with marriages today

How about this…. church people now lead the way to the divorce courts! More than 1.1 million people get divorced every year. Research now tells us that a person of even nominal faith no longer marries with “guaranteed: no divorce.” Also, “the matter” with marriages is that many who enter now into marriage are themselves products of divorced homes and often lack parental role models showing what an enduring marriage looks like.

Then throw in the rise in record number of births to unwed mothers, 1.3 million in 1999 alone or 1/3 of all the births in the U.S. Add the trendy marital wandering portrayed in media, the increased separation of extended family, the decreasing influence of churches and synagogues and the increased stress of workplaces (faster, more electronic expectations compounded by the need to escape), our increasingly disposable society (throwaway cellphones, PDAs, relationships, and constant upgrades needed) and little being done to equip people for the toughness of marriage and you can detect a scene for rapidly deteriorating marriages.

What further affects the marriage scene is that the marriage rate itself is declining due to the skyrocketing number of couples choosing to cohabit. All of which says people are skeptical, if not scared, of marriage.

Amazingly in the midst of this negative data, people still dream of a great marriage, spend wildly on weddings, and our movies push romance more than ever. So we love weddings and fear marriage! The “marriage market” out there is looking for skills, for reliable research on healthy marriages and for people who can mentor with passion, adventure, humor, encouragement, honest forgiveness and hope.

Marriage also now has to work in a society with no moral consensus. We’re not whining here, just saying marriage is what it is. Needed: a new culture of marriage missionaries to infect society along with churches and synagogues with pew and pulpit folk who will work to create a community of healthy singles and marrieds.



Author: Tom Tyndall
Category: Marriage
Published: 02.28.09

About Great Mates


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Great Mates encourages marriage enrichment and renewal through workshops, retreats, and ongoing mentoring in your local church or gathering. We promote healthy marriages through 28 years of learning in our own relationship and decades of pastoral and family therapy experience.

Speaking

If you would like to learn more about Great Mates or are interested in having Tom and Betty Tyndall speak at your church or civic organization, please contact Tom at tom@greatmates.org