What if my spouse is addicted to Internet porn?

Here is the biggest emerging secret that is destroying marriages. Usually the addicted spouse is male, but women seem to be addicted more to the chat rooms than the XXX rated pictures.

Pornography, says the latest research, is affecting lots of people of faith, particularly as much as 70% of Christian men and a stunning number of pastors. By the way, serving in the military or on the mission field or any place of isolation or a place where there may be too much routine/boredom seems to bump the numbers WAY up according to one internet filter provider we’ve talked to.

If the addiction is recent, and s/he is willing to talk, the largest part of the battle is already won. If the addiction has gone on for months, or years, you are likely facing intervention and therapy for an addiction. Addicts need to talk with someone about what feeds this compulsion, meaning is this feeding my loneliness, lack of being appreciated, a need for one-way affection, unresolved childhood sexual issues or something else?

You can dismiss pornographic wanderings in purely moral terms (it’s just sin, succumbing to desires) or make it pure psychology (loneliness, lack of appreciation at work or home, unresolved affection issues with parents). After you tire of excuses, above all, encourage the person addicted to get help. The best book on internet pornographic addiction is Dr. Patrick Carnes’ very helpful Out of the Shadows of the Net.

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Author: Tom Tyndall
Category: Books, Marriage, Sex
Published: 02.26.09